Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

I don’t know….

by RoachKiller

I’m actually thinking of taking vacation this year in NOLA….

I really want to do mardigras but I also have an opportunity to take a few guitar lessons from a really good guitar player down in Texas…..

I will definitely be doing one this year! I mean this is why I got off the road! You know, to have a life outside of driving a truck!

Bwoop bwoop!

Holy shit…..

by RoachKiller

When this overseas release only, prototype jersey showed up. It was the wrong size and I was too fat to wear it!

Today is a much different story! Fucker is way baggy and fits like a 4x goalie, only better!

Bwoop bwoop!

Unfortunately it doesn’t have my pentagram logo and numbered 666, but hey it’s still fucking cool!

Don’t be looking at my pp bulge lady! My eyes are ip here…..

Oh and the reason all those jerseys look like alter boy alb’s? It totally went along with the theme….

HELLLLO…..

by RoachKiller

HOW IS EVERYONE DOING THIS MORNING? YALL HAVE A GOOD, FUN AND SAFE NIGHT?

WHO WANTS BREAKFAST? I GOT EGGS AND FISH COOKING NOW?

DID YOU ALL WATCH THE BALLS DROP LAST NIGHT?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! 250 YEARS OF PURE, UNADULTERATED SAVAGERY!

I PERSONALLY CANT WAIT FOR THE 4TH OF JULY! THATS GUNNA BE A MOTHER FUCKING PARTY! IM DEFINITELY GOING TO THROW A KEGER…..

NO ITS NOT VERY BRIGHT IN HERE, NOR AM I TALKING LOUDLY!

EVERYONE HAVE A GOOD 2026!

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON THE SOULS OF THOSE STILL STUCK IN 2025…..

You gotta….

by RoachKiller

Rent this movie on Amazon! Keanu is really good In This! 😉 Good fortune…..

I was going to go to bed but I just ordered amazons 3 hour delivery on the new smoke detectors…..

Xfinity, really?

by RoachKiller

Just watched a commercial for the new xfinity fiber! ROFLMAO! What a fucking joke! They managed to figure out how to get a 1gb signal through that old coax pipe into your house.

They did not however figure out how to get more than 120mb out of your house! ROFLMAO!

I was just about to sign up cus I pay $70 a month for a true 2gb up and down net connection. Then right before I clicked buy. The fine print says, 35mb uploads! ROFLMAO!

Well that stopped me right there! What good is a 1gb download with a 35mb upload? Yea with those speeds just get cellular…..

You remember….

by RoachKiller

Those drivers that all got popped for dirty ua’s after weed became legal in their states? ROFLMAO!

I wonder what they are doing now? I’ll bet you they are the reason the feds started the clearinghouse!

OK PEOPLE!

It is illegal to smoke weed or do any other “ ILLEGAL DRUG “ even if it becomes legal in your state!

Unless the feds remove it from the schedule 1 roster! It is illegal for a truck driver like you to use…. You can buy weed all you want…..

Ingesting it is illegal for you, Mr. Cdl holder……

Oh and to all you alcoholics who drive a truck! It is illegal for you to have any form of alcohol in your cab!

So say you go to a store and buy a 5th of vodka while you’re on your route! That’s perfectly legal! If you either drink or put that 5th of vodka in the cab of your truck opened or not opened! You are now fucked!

Depending on your company policy. As far as I know, if you have your receipt and put the alcohol in your trailer. That is legal!

I’m not that desperate of an alcoholic so none of this really concerns me! Yet you people it sure does…..

Holy shit…..

by RoachKiller

A day where I came back empty! Hoooooo! Can you believe it? Not 1 return, not 1 mispick! Did have a rather high number of credit receipts to pass out!

But fuck yall im going home! Im tired and my nose won’t stop running…..

You wanna…..

by RoachKiller

Get pissed off? My water bill showed up today! I used exactly $3.25 worth of water! add a $22.00 service fee….. so the water bill is $25.25! Doh!

Wow….

by RoachKiller

A newbie made the magical guess the first time on which spare key fits his truck of the day…. Impressive!

Aww no mental….

by RoachKiller

Issues with her! Lol, sadly I can’t remove them without rubber gloves and a whole body condom! As her bio mom and dad gave her there hpv!

The issues of adoption are clearly evident…..

If your a parent, you saw this and laughed, became aroused or at all found it amusing! I’m 99.9% sure that your kids have been taken by the state at some point in your parenting life!

I’ll flat out tell you! Yall should be honored I’ve kept it together this well the last 6 months! From the shit I’ve been forced to endure! I’m holding it together very fucking well!

Although if the opportunity ever arises to let the shit fly! Oh it will! It will big fucking time!

I will be the only one walking away that day! Guaranteed!

Goldilocks….

by RoachKiller

Has nothing on me toots! ROFLMAO!

Well after two attempts! I have found the perfect board for my foot stool!

Not to big, not to small! Just right! Added bonus it has built in pen holders, is environmentally friendly and does what I need it too! 😉

The first two tries are on my counter actually being used as they should!

And as I’m doing my weekly chores around the house! I’m realizing how nice it is to actually be tall enough to put away the dishes! Without aid of a step stool…..

Jump for it little man, jump!

All right ladies….

by RoachKiller

Who wants a blackrock coffee bar, fuel? I’ll either go to the one on 82nd drive or on 82nd by winco?

So what the fuck do you ladies want?

Im in awe….

by RoachKiller

What took me years at Crete has been accomplished here in less than 2 months! Truly amazing…..

Finally had to use my pandemic road toilet paper! Yea I keep the tp upstairs but luckily I kept that in the garage! 🙂

Hey man, I’m just minding my own business doing my own thing! It would be you people who can’t do just that!

Holy shit…..

by RoachKiller

That’s a first! I have never waited an hour + at a drop while the chef argues about broccoli! ROFLMAO! They thought they were ordering broccolini but actually ordered regular broccoli!

But then, they realized they were out of veggies for the weekend and needed something! But there was a little yellow in the broccoli heads.

But then the cilantro was dying fast! Yet they only ordered 4 and there were 10 in the box. They found 4 good bushels and sent back the rest….

Then after all that, they returned the 8 cases of broccoli while the magic chef was able to call someone and get broccolini….

Don’t ask me I just drive the truck and have the returns book…..

Still having a blast…..

If I told you what customer that was, it would blow your mind! I guarantee anyone in Portland has been there and eaten there….. 😉

High standards they have! They also have an all you can eat seafood buffet Friday and saturdays!

Oh and I guess there was a big fuck up last week where customers either didn’t get the correct order or something! Cus everyone I delivered to wanted to check the count and condition of everything!