Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

What are…..

by RoachKiller

The chances I come to work today to find all the doors locked on the truck I’m driving today?

Oh and this is the truck where the spare key doesn’t fit the door! Pretty much cleaned out the rack of spare truck keys!

Found one that worked! I don’t really have the energy to walk the stairs again for the 4th time today! So I’ll take these spare keys with me today!

Sorry, but I do believe yall have some issues to deal with…..

No really…..

by RoachKiller

All my new jackets now have that butt protector half circle on the bottom!

It’s weird I am at just the perfect height my ass is constantly getting wet from puckered lips….

Look who….

by RoachKiller

Is seriously desperate! Who is so broke they had to come all the way from crazy town again to start up some shit ROFLMAO!

Yup that’s right buddy! I’m headed to work! You’re not welcome to follow or even interact! Cus if you or your crazy town members do, your gunna need those million dollar lawyers again….

Bwoop bwoop!

You don’t think that’s what all those porn bot followers are there for do ya?

Oh this…..

by RoachKiller

I’m looking into claiming workman’s comp on this one! This was caused by trying to force a key that doesn’t fit a lock, fit a lock!

The spare key fits the ignition but as I learned. It doesn’t fit the door except it does…..

After 45 minutes it finally unlocked the door…… ROFLMAO!

Added bonus….

by RoachKiller

You should see how flat my stomach looks! What a work out….. 🙂

Elevator goes up, elevator goes down…..

I had a blast today! More than work but a few things I said to certain people…..

By the reactions I got, they don’t think very highly of their delivery drivers…… ROFLMAO!

Well worth the entertainment!

My day consisted of…..

by RoachKiller

330 miles and 19 stops! My day ended with 330 miles and finished 18 stops!

I’m 6’4” and that pallet was taller than me! I had to break down 4-6 or so pallets just like that! Some with 2 stops some with 4 stops!

All a monster pain in the ass! Not only did I roll countless milk crates filled with milk up flights of stairs! I had to fill an elevator twice with product to deliver!

Then all while doing that, I watched a drunk couple do the fight in public situation! Got dived bombed by a bird. Not to mention the returns and product errors all along the way!

So in this scenario, did you win or did I win? Cus it looks to me like I won…..

I don’t know….

by RoachKiller

I’m actually thinking of taking vacation this year in NOLA….

I really want to do mardigras but I also have an opportunity to take a few guitar lessons from a really good guitar player down in Texas…..

I will definitely be doing one this year! I mean this is why I got off the road! You know, to have a life outside of driving a truck!

Bwoop bwoop!

Holy shit…..

by RoachKiller

When this overseas release only, prototype jersey showed up. It was the wrong size and I was too fat to wear it!

Today is a much different story! Fucker is way baggy and fits like a 4x goalie, only better!

Bwoop bwoop!

Unfortunately it doesn’t have my pentagram logo and numbered 666, but hey it’s still fucking cool!

Don’t be looking at my pp bulge lady! My eyes are ip here…..

Oh and the reason all those jerseys look like alter boy alb’s? It totally went along with the theme….

HELLLLO…..

by RoachKiller

HOW IS EVERYONE DOING THIS MORNING? YALL HAVE A GOOD, FUN AND SAFE NIGHT?

WHO WANTS BREAKFAST? I GOT EGGS AND FISH COOKING NOW?

DID YOU ALL WATCH THE BALLS DROP LAST NIGHT?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! 250 YEARS OF PURE, UNADULTERATED SAVAGERY!

I PERSONALLY CANT WAIT FOR THE 4TH OF JULY! THATS GUNNA BE A MOTHER FUCKING PARTY! IM DEFINITELY GOING TO THROW A KEGER…..

NO ITS NOT VERY BRIGHT IN HERE, NOR AM I TALKING LOUDLY!

EVERYONE HAVE A GOOD 2026!

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON THE SOULS OF THOSE STILL STUCK IN 2025…..

You gotta….

by RoachKiller

Rent this movie on Amazon! Keanu is really good In This! 😉 Good fortune…..

I was going to go to bed but I just ordered amazons 3 hour delivery on the new smoke detectors…..

Xfinity, really?

by RoachKiller

Just watched a commercial for the new xfinity fiber! ROFLMAO! What a fucking joke! They managed to figure out how to get a 1gb signal through that old coax pipe into your house.

They did not however figure out how to get more than 120mb out of your house! ROFLMAO!

I was just about to sign up cus I pay $70 a month for a true 2gb up and down net connection. Then right before I clicked buy. The fine print says, 35mb uploads! ROFLMAO!

Well that stopped me right there! What good is a 1gb download with a 35mb upload? Yea with those speeds just get cellular…..

You remember….

by RoachKiller

Those drivers that all got popped for dirty ua’s after weed became legal in their states? ROFLMAO!

I wonder what they are doing now? I’ll bet you they are the reason the feds started the clearinghouse!

OK PEOPLE!

It is illegal to smoke weed or do any other “ ILLEGAL DRUG “ even if it becomes legal in your state!

Unless the feds remove it from the schedule 1 roster! It is illegal for a truck driver like you to use…. You can buy weed all you want…..

Ingesting it is illegal for you, Mr. Cdl holder……

Oh and to all you alcoholics who drive a truck! It is illegal for you to have any form of alcohol in your cab!

So say you go to a store and buy a 5th of vodka while you’re on your route! That’s perfectly legal! If you either drink or put that 5th of vodka in the cab of your truck opened or not opened! You are now fucked!

Depending on your company policy. As far as I know, if you have your receipt and put the alcohol in your trailer. That is legal!

I’m not that desperate of an alcoholic so none of this really concerns me! Yet you people it sure does…..

Holy shit…..

by RoachKiller

A day where I came back empty! Hoooooo! Can you believe it? Not 1 return, not 1 mispick! Did have a rather high number of credit receipts to pass out!

But fuck yall im going home! Im tired and my nose won’t stop running…..