Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

Since I see…..

by RoachKiller

A problem forming in in the middle of doing corrective action myself!

I’ve been writing a buttload of short/ miss pick tickets lately!

So to see if I’m the problem or it’s an issue elsewhere! I have been taking pictures of each board I have to break down! All 4 sides!

Then after I break down for that stop I take a picture of the board I’m taking into the customer!

If the issue is solely me. I will figure a way to rectify that situation. If it’s not due to me ( some are! I admit I’ve fucked up picking a pallet more than once!

So let’s see how it goes, shall we….. I’ll keep doing it until a resolution has been made!

Holy shit!

by RoachKiller

That was a bowl winder! Woo doggies!

I will stop to pee and to poop! Homeboy ain’t holding for no one ever again!

Bwoop bwoop!

Holy fuck! I forgot I’m on a detox this week…..

Why would I…..

by RoachKiller

Get mad brah? Another day where they unplugged my lift! Congrats, yall have proven your complete cocksuckers! AND THEN……

Instagram….

by RoachKiller

Is really pushing the American made boutique guitar manufacturers! I’m shocked as they are usually pushing “ made in china” brands…..

I lit…..

by RoachKiller

This candle last night! One of the x’s she left behind! Figured why not! Why burn the good shit when I can burn the bad shit first!

Anyhoot! I fell asleep and was awoken to gnarly black smoke and popping noises coming from the candle!

Not a little, a lot! Luckily the smoke alarm sent me an alert that there was smoke in the house! Cus that candle was a bonfire when I woke up!

Seriously! That was a fucked up candle!

Oh and for….

by RoachKiller

You gay dudes that like your partners feminine! there is a girly dude walking his dog in a pink stroller . He’s wearing those overly tight, hemmroid exposing lady yoga pants over by mall 205!

When I was driving by I was like “ check out that chicks ass! then I saw the beard and I was disgusted! Yet I trudged on!

Seriously though that dude had a woman’s ass! He should be proud of that mother fucker! 🙂

I’m not gay, yet confident in my heterosexuality that I can post this without issue!

God damn I’m tired!

by RoachKiller

I was supposed to have today off! I switched out a run with someone else and was supposed to have today off!

They said hey if you want we can hook you up with a run tomorrow. I figured why not! They were saying they would set me up with a short portion of another run I’ve never done. That I’m scheduled to do next week.

Well I get there this morning and nope. It’s a whole different run I’ve never done! ROFLMAO! Which would have been fine except everything that could happen! Happened!

Everything was fine until estacada! just went down hill from there!

I’m starting to wonder if they ain’t giving me the runs no one else wants? Personally I think they are all great! There is a lot of breakdown on them though……

Do you ever…..

by RoachKiller

Ask yourself grandpa, being this much of a low rent dick! Will god let me into heaven?

Or do you and your friends already know your going straight to hell, in gods name ofcourse…..

My day is…..

by RoachKiller

Complete! I was called “dog” by a woman wearing an Alice In Chains shirt! Which surpasses being called “ boo” by a black woman in Birmingham Alabama with 17” fingernails!

Bwoop bwoop!

Yup….

by RoachKiller

I’ve been having a crissy look alike poking around the new instagram account! Go check the likes! If it’s actually her, cool! If not it’s one of my groupies trying to troll again….

The geezers can’t stop…..

My big thing….

by RoachKiller

Now is to go to the Clackamas promenade and drive around the tesla charging stations and wave! I usually catch the exact same people on the way in and the way out…..

What?

by RoachKiller

Speak up, I suffer from truck driver ear! What did you say? Who are you again? Why do I care?

All things that I say when I hear you talk!

Hachoo…..

by RoachKiller

https://youtu.be/kCqz96H4iHA?si=kXduYw16M8cA0XfC

FYI my rule of thumb for winter driving was, 1 butthole pucker keep riding, 2 butthole puckers, start thinking of a place to stop. 3 butthole puckers, it’s time to get off the road!

If you have made it to the part where they have to surgically remove the drivers seat from your ass! You waited to long to get off the road…..

2 questions…..

by RoachKiller

For my old school homies!

I’m trying to remember the names of the chemicals I hauled over the years.

One was valued at $1 million dollars! It was like methyl glycol or something like that?

The other was that 1 I delivered over there around gas city Indiana! Over by that weird old school milk bottle building!

The guy who unloaded it wore a fire suit and required the driver and all pets to move away from the truck. That way if the trailer door sparked when opening. The ensuing fireball would be somewhat controlled?

Or was I the only one they entrusted to run those kind of loads? 🙂

Like my….

by RoachKiller

Momma always said! “ your a special boy!”

I’m guessing that’s why this is my one true vice!