Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

ROFLMAO…..

by RoachKiller

Nah, the old lady said a couple of times over the years I was gay! We both know that’s not true! I like the puss to much! Maybe it was the puss I was sticking my dick in that gave that vibe! Who knows? Except I know I ain’t gay!

I will tell you I can definitely mix the colors! Like I said, what you see here is from memories growing up as a kid and my fashion sense now! Not to mention my time spent with all those ladies in home’ec class in high school!

All it’s missing are those taller fake pointy colored twig thingy’s fake plants like this have!

Ya gotta admit that’s pretty fucking cool! All done by a guy who drives a truck and eats a mean…..

FYI, thank you ladies the black cherry and ocean lotus won out…..

ROFLMAO!

Thank you…..

by RoachKiller

For reminding me! Since the soon to be x wife has once again stolen even my Asian style eats bowls!

You know, the big red ceramic bowls that she thought sucked when I bought them!

Yea well, I was feeling quite bonita tonight and decided! Out with the old and in with the new…..

I’ll go ahead and pack up all that shit for her….. just get it out of my fucking house…..

Along with her countless reusable coffee mugs and the rest of the shit she fucked up…..

My guess all the thc has got to be really fucking up her thinking! I mean I couldnt even stand talking to her let alone being in the same room with her when she was vaping, at all!

Oh the female…..

by RoachKiller

Mechanic that fixed my truck yesterday? I don’t give she was female! She did the job, I didn’t need to assist for anything! So I don’t care if she was female!

The fact she had a grease mustache insinuated she works just as hard as anyone else! She’s trained in what she does and added bonus, she wasn’t unpleasant to look at!

I don’t give a fuck if my mechanic is male or female! Do the job and no one gets hurt…..

All I can say……

by RoachKiller

Is the geriatric white trash brigade and their fellow family and friends of the white trash brotherhood are putting on one hell of a phishing expedition the last few weeks!

I will, however, do a V blog tonight I’ll explain those posts about all that gayitity!

Man, I just realized…..

by RoachKiller

I forgot to put away that animal trap before I left! Welp, if the can of sardines does its job! I’ll have an authentic cat skeleton to put out front for Halloween……

You ever……

by RoachKiller

See a group of people and get excited cause you know you’re gonna be seeing them again in court…..

it’s cause you know they’re gonna be sitting at the defendants table, possibly forfeiting everything they own?

So if you ever see me walk by a group of people and start smiling, now you know what I’m thinking…..

So good…..

by RoachKiller

Even cold!

Oh and someone tell the x old lady that her milk problem might actually be from her Splenda addiction!

I stated drinking that coffee with Splenda and I haven’t had a solid shit in 3 days! If this was the Oregon trail game, ide of died of dysentery by now…..

Oh and I’m quit happy with myself! Mowed the yard in one shot and didn’t get winded whatsoever! My and Mika’s hard work is paying off!

Ya know I…..

by RoachKiller

Love my dog! Yet I’m finding out she is a natural blonde! You can give her a treat in her bowl! She will watch you drop it in there and she stares at you like, where’s my treat!

I get she’s old! She’s night blind, has a bad sniffer and either doesn’t give a shit your calling her or she’s hard of hearing!

Yet after watching her roll herself off the bed! For zero reason! After all the years of her falling asleep between your legs on the bed, knowing you’re going to squish her when you roll over!

I have come to the conclusion she is a natural blonde! I will love her anyways! 🙂

Oh and p.s. she is that overly loud eater! The one people have nightmares about!

Twas at 9.2 volts…..

by RoachKiller

Not even my monster jump box or hers could start this bitch! Since the last time I had it in the shop and said, “ I need batteries!”

Every fucking time I come for time off I have had to use my personal jump box to start this bitch! With good batteries, I should easily be able to go home for time off, leave the fridge and a light on. Come back in 4-5 days and still be able to start the truck!

Yea, they don’t do that here…..

All 4 batteries replaced! Woo hoo, let’s roll poser!

How cool…..

by RoachKiller

One of my Asian neighbors down the road was on a walk at the same time we were! She saw these trees and immediately snapped pictures to send to her brother in Hong Kong!

She just told us so we wouldn’t freak cus we managed to photo bomb her! 🙂

I was like cool, then omg in old man fashion said, “ that’s fine, have a nice evening!” ROFLMAO!

Then I came home and finally finished that half gallon of brewers mint chocolate chip ice cream I’ve been working on the last 3 months!

Yes I like my ice cream in a cup with milk!

You know ladies…..

by RoachKiller

If you are thinking I want to fuck? You’re probably right! Yet it’s been so long I’m going to need you standing at my front door! Butt ass naked saying, fuck me!

In order to get my attention that way! I don’t do small talk…..

Follow those rules and we will fuck until your head explodes in an orgasmic frenzy! Just ask my soon to be x what that’s like!

Yall are missing…..

by RoachKiller

Out on the show today! Just had one of those whores of salt lake walk by tonight as I was taking out the trash!

Obvious sign, the frosted bob and the flats! Who the fuck goes on a walk in cheap pair of flats?

Any hoot, back to the curse of king tut!

Much better….

by RoachKiller

Found these on Amazon! Definitely insulated black out curtains! Luckily I haven’t put up the new curtain rod yet as it needs to come down 1/4” to remove the small gap at the bottom!

Dig um man! Definitely more efficient than the set I put up from home goods!

Matches the carpet so, groovy dude! I’ll definitely be buying more! Oddly $7 less than the previous set! I

’ll use the old ones in the dinning room at a later date!

I don’t know…..

by RoachKiller

Ladies, I can’t tell if that tele accentuates my center piece or throws it off!

Also what scent do you ladies prefer?

Ocean lotus?

Black cherry?

vanilla creme’?

I’m also thinking I don’t need a wall piece on there! As that center piece runs halfway up that space!

Although if I could find a giant 60” x 70” metal pentagram! I’m pretty sure that would look splendid! Like all the other metal wall art pieces I have….

😉

It just hit me…..

by RoachKiller

The water company came out today to find out why my water usage has been so low the last 6 months!

All I said was, “ our youngest daughter found her own place!”

He giggled and said “your meter is fine! We knew they were drilling fiber through this neighborhood so on unusual cases like yours we wanted to verify there wasn’t an issue!”

The only issue we had was a young girl who loved taking 2 hour long showers twice a day! 🙂 seriously!

That’s why I love happy valley! They get it…..

New insulated curtains arrived!