Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

Like I said just today…..

by RoachKiller

This job isnt that intimidating when you get a good nights sleep and kinda have an idea of the way things work…..

Yet, I digress! I’m literally having a blast! Had crusty head pass me coming out of Washington today! In his Crete truck! ROFLMAO!

Tried to flip him off but he didn’t see me! ;(

Oddly, he had a gaggle of smilers following behind him! Like I said, the shit rarely falls much past the butthole!

Then we hit I-84 and I swear I saw one nut going by in his England truck….. ROFLMAO!

Either way, cujo and I are ready for walk time! The brussel sprouts were good and the stew was even better…..

My work bag…..

by RoachKiller

Let’s see what’s in my work bag today?

2 jugs of coffee, my eyeglass case the daughter brought back from Japan for me!

An extra pair of pants, in case my running pants become an issue, and an empty tub of chaw…..

No food cus they got fruit and shit at work I can snag!

I literally pride…

by RoachKiller

Myself on making the worst face I can on of badges and license pictures. It’s not easy to pull off without the picture taker saying, “ don’t do that!”

Seriously, it’s a game I like to play! 🙂 the uglier, the funnier the better!

Count them….

by RoachKiller

14, 19 if you include the multiple invoices for the same place, mother fucking stops today! That’s not what was the shitty part! The shitty part is the doctor prescribed me meds to make the circulation better in my legs. So they ain’t so cold!

Well that lead to me getting a whopping 4 hours of sleep last night! Tonight I’m gunna stuff my face and pass the fuck out!

The job is fine! My knowledge of said job is growing!

I can definitely do this job for a while….. it’s my new challenge…..

Do you…..

by RoachKiller

Have any idea how nice it is to wake up with morning wood and piss in your own toilet? Or shower depending on severity of morning wood…..

It’s fucking orgasmic!

Not to mention shower in your own shower every day!

Ya know I….

by RoachKiller

Might have been hated by my fellow drivers at Crete! But whoever these people talked to at Crete gave me one hell of a glowing reference!

Thanks, babe! 😉

See I can say that now! I don’t work there anymore….

Everything I….

by RoachKiller

Do is pre thought out!

Unless we are real close friends! Anything I do or say has not had a thought process behind it! Cus I fucking trust you!

replies on social media have a thought process!

A simple hello has a multiple thought process’s !

Don’t ever forget that you wet cunts of human beings….…..

Now to cash….

by RoachKiller

In all the change I found in the junk drawer! That there is $17.00 worth of change! ROFLMAO!

Later this week I take back all the bags of bottles and cans clogging up the garage!

Bwoop bwoop!

As for the….

by RoachKiller

New job! It’s exactly as I expected! A little more interaction with customers than I like but so far everyone has been super cool!

I now also know I need a safety jacket rain coat! One that is breathable and has the little lip on the hood and the extra round part on the bottom of the back!

Oh and I still get free soda pop!

It’s a beautiful day…..

by RoachKiller

And cujo is not listening to a word a say! I guess this is her revenge for not pooping or peeing on the carpet while I’m at work….. 😉

See those running pants make an excellent base layer! All the ones I wear during the winter are extra thick! I personally don’t give a fuck what color they are! ( no hot pink or sexy patterns! )

But since I own 1 pair of pants that I hate wearing. I would wear these instead! Added bonus when I would have to wear my winter arctic bibs these made it much warmer….. not to mention they are super quick drying which is needed if you have to throw chains!

Anyhoot, me and the dog are keeping our new schedule even on days off! Managed to get a whole 29 hours in for the week. Which includes my 6 hour orientation and 23 hours on the road! They tell me soon I actually be allowed to drive! 😉

Oh and fyi, I really need someone to make me a picture chart of what each herb looks like! Especially cilantro and parsley!

Oh and my new sketchers work boots are also not good on slick surfaces….

I love telling….

by RoachKiller

Some of the OTR experiences I have had over th years!

Finally got to tell that one about the meat load I hauled to the stop light market there on the miracle mile in Chicago! Down by the inner city projects apartment buildings!

How they had to have an armed security guard come out and unlock and open the trailer doors and walk the trailer into the store dock. Cus there were 3 -4 people just waiting to get their hands on the boxes of meat I had in the trailer!….

That experience is always a crowd pleaser…..

I’ve been trying…..

by RoachKiller

To figure out why my ass is dragging the last few days? Then it hit me, I have spent the last 30 years sucking down mass quantities of caffeine!

When I came in off the road, I stopped! Like to the point I’ve been trying to ween myself with my iced coffee every day!

I really don’t think it’s working! 😉 this also explains why random parts of my body are getting super cold! Hands and feet I get, legs, arms and boobies. I don’t get…..

Luckily I have my cute rat to keep me warm! 🙂

Oh and I never saw my quilted maple charvel strat…. Luckily for the soon to be x old lady all the high end guitars are there…..

Must have been…..

by RoachKiller

A rough night last night! I went to bed with black spandex on! Woke up with white ones on and a half eaten bowl of pot roast leftovers on the nightstand!

Then I realized I woke up 0200 hungry as fuck and started watching an episode of ghost hunters…..

Oh and I really dislike Alexa! I have had to name my bedroom lights 1 and 2 so she actually turns them on and off without asking “ which rooms lights bedroom or living room lights?”

Watch this…..

by RoachKiller

Show or that old show “ pretender “ and you will know exactly what I live with…..

Now the shows portray far beyond my abilities but 136 gets me damn close! Notice the characters in both those shows have their own individual skills and qwerks…..

Worser of all, what the fuck is this shit? I don’t have a smart remote so does lg think I’m going to type questions in to the ai bot? WTF?

And why did the update turn on close captioning?

That is…..

by RoachKiller

What I have lived out of for the last 30 years! A few laundry bags and a shower backpack!

That stack there is all clothes that I wear and fit! The half bag is all of my puma ankle socks! I had no idea I owned that many pairs of puma socks! 😉

When you think about it! OTR trucking is just a hard fucking life! Especially if you’re any good at it…..

On a good note I took 2 massive garbage bags filled with old clothes to goodwill today! So if you like 3x belly shirts! You’re gunna find some good finds!

Me a 3x long fits perfect! Without sporting my hang belly! 🙂

Now you realize that my new gig, they are promising 50 – 60 hours a week! Home nights and weekends! it’s been over 30 fucking years since the last time I was paid overtime!

I’ll fucking take it! That’s far better than 70+ hours a week with zero time and a half! Sleeping in the truck somewhere in the 48 states…..

I’ve always been….

by RoachKiller

This funny, dude!

It just disappeared for a long while during the demonic oppression years I was married to the stoned, demon spawn of satan……