Category: Weather

So if your interpretation of the Bible…..

by RoachKiller

Is correct gramps! Then every morning god too wakes up. Puts on his lady hair. Coats an inch of makeup on and spends the day driving his 18 wheeler pretending to be a woman?

I’m correct in gods logic? Yes?

Also, why would god pull a reefer? You would think he would be smarter than that?

I digress, he did allow Mormons to come into existence! So obviously he’s not perfect!

It’s simple…..

by RoachKiller

After having to constantly replace the sprinkler heads after the kids would mow the lawn. Yea I stopped using it!

So I went and picked up this really adjustable, cheap sprinklers from ace hardware! I was shocked how adjustable these things are! From a small area to a large area these things actually work better than the inground system!

Added bonus you can daisy chain them together and basically do the same shit an in ground does only without the monster hassle!

$18 for 2 at ace…..

Longevity is unknown but I’m sure you can get atleast a summer out of them…..

Sorry…..

by RoachKiller

Light load, high winds! Nothing like looking in your mirror and seeing your trailer riding in the lane next to ya!

You should have seen the guy who was empty behind me! If his butthole wasn’t sucking up that seat he was obviously wearing an anti gay sex device!

Praise sweet baby jesus, hail Satan! Fuck y’all I’m taking a nap!

Oh and…..

by RoachKiller

Like I was telling hobo Joe going the other way today! I’m sitting on 12,000lbs! The wind has been seriously fucked from here to Wyoming!

I even had to take 30 to avoid the 45 – 55 mph gusts over elk!

So have a nice life and try not to wreck again!

Today you…..

by RoachKiller

Wonder, “ how many company trucks were rolled or jackknifed yesterday in all that ice”…..

Cus y’all go way too fucking fast on ice and snow…..

Tonight we just might have some fun and report all your troll accounts! See how many we can get booted!

Me I’m gunna moisturize my face cus I just shaved and it itches!

Don’t ask me…..

by RoachKiller

How I made it on time for my delivery this morning! I woke up and this website was lit up like a Xmas tree on Halloween!

Yet I get up there and no chains were required…..

Like I always say, I dunno, I just drive the truck!

Cus I’m a cowboy baby…..

by RoachKiller

Shit sucked! Going there I ran into a wall of slush about 3 inches on the ground and just fucking blizzard style slush!

Then on the way out general snow. the temp was below 32! Watch out on the bridges where it’s a giant sheet of fucking ice!

It was doable if you took your time. But be very careful of those fucking bridges! The longer you wait the darker it gets the worse it’s gonna be!

Me I’m gonna have some bacon wrapped pork tokens, and call it a day here soon. Maybe your old lady will come out and give me a handy who knows….

Oh now…..

by RoachKiller

I’m really fucking sore! Today I got to throw maximum chains! All to drive on wet roads for 30 miles!

First of all I was shocked I had 6 rails that were all intact.

Second of all California is really pushing this chain law shit!

Third of all, I’m officially tired of snow!

Best part is, I now have a nail in one tire and a chunk of chain in the other! You can dodge lost chains in the middle of the road! You can’t dodge broken links in the road! ( you can’t see them! )

FYI, supposed to be a blizzard up there tonight in Truckee…..

Yet considering this is the 3rd season using these same chains! I’m pretty sure they have earned there keep! Too bad most will have to be thrown away after this season! They are fubard!

And that’s why I usually wear my carhartt winter bibs when chaining! Except it wasn’t snowing…..

Rusty chains will do it to ya every time!

A new record set…

by RoachKiller

Only seven hours from the 76 south of Phoenix to the bug station! And a half hour of that was just trying to get through the bug station. The other five hours was just trying to get over Ashland!

On a good note I only had to throw chains once! excluding the two chains that broke! I am impressed as these are the same chains. I got brand new when I got the truck brand new so we’re talking three-year-old chains!

I will tell you I will sleep extremely well tonight!

Even though tripcheck.com, said no restrictions, carry chains or traction devices!

And this is the asshole up right in the middle of the fucking road so no one can get by, to throw chains!

I will tell you today has proven the exact reason for the term “ trucker tarded!” The saying “ a group is only as smart as the person with the lowest IQ.”

Is fucking spot on!

I finally…..

by RoachKiller

Get to the chain check and they tell me that just put chains required back into effect! So i got turned around there!

Then a lovely b&b truck just stops in the middle of the turn around detour! So that’s where we all were stuck throwing chains!

It gets better!

So I make it about a mile and hear the infamous thud of chains on metal! Fuck! My drag chains broke a link! So I run that thing till I get to a good spot to change it out!

Right as I finish tightening the last cam adjuster. A state crew guy walks buy and says, “ chain law has been lifted!”

I cried a little over that one…..

Bastard!

Oh so you want…..

by RoachKiller

To know what Houston is like right now? The highway is slushy for the most part! They are NOT deicing the bridges! Big, long, small, short, they are being left as is and they are slick as fuck!

Surface roads are slush, other than that driving through Houston is like driving through a big town on Xmas day…..

Oh and everything, and I mean everything is closed!

P.s. as of typing this it has begun snowing again! Very lightly but yes it’s snowing! Temp is 30°’s and maintaining!

This is what it looked like into Conroe from the rest area at the 124 on I-45…..

Like Xmas morning, awwww! Or the day after a hurricane…. Awwwww

This years frozen……

by RoachKiller

Windshield wiper fluid reservoir fix!

this one was a motherfucker! The washer fluid froze somewhere down there in New Mexico when it was -8°. So I did my ritual throw in a little bit of rubbing alcohol and that should be that.

No, It didn’t do a fucking thing! So to remedy this, I had to stop and buy 2 pint size bottles or quart size bottles of rubbing alcohol from Wally world. A new gallon of off the shelf washer fluid. And a gallon of 2020 mixed with water and a small hint of antifreeze, small drip.

So I had to pour a full quart of rubbing alcohol into the fresh bottle of washer fluid. A Drop of antifreeze with alcohol into the gallon of water in 2020.

Now, finally after almost a week of no washer fluid, I finally have a fucking washer fluid!

Praise, sweet baby Jesus…..

PS to you drivers going the other way. Yes that is ice all over the side of this trailer and snow all over the back of the trailer and the white stuff on the tractor is left over from when I ran over that meth dealer couple weeks ago…..