Category: Ford Fender

This means…..

by RoachKiller

I’m gay now doesn’t it? In my defense, this thing can almost diagnose brain cancer! The health checks this thing does far outweighed any Fitbit I could find!

I hate watches but fuck, I’ll suffer for a few months…..

Oh silly goose…..

by RoachKiller

You weren’t stupid enough to think ide spend $8000.000 on a Gibson widow do you? Considering I’m in love with my tele?

Silly fool! Anyway! This Epiphone is fantastic! No way in hell will you find one this good at guitar center!

Not 1 damn thing wrong with the book matched AA flamed maple top! When they dyed this board black to make it look like ebony should. They didn’t miss a spot!

Neck is spot on, action factory. Pick ups will sound killer as soon as those Gibson burst buckers are installed! For a Chinese made Les Paul, this is definitely the best I’ve ever seen!

Honestly for $800 this is one of the best Epiphone les Paul’s I’ve ever owned! ( and I own quite a few! ) Like I said with the addition of some American Gibson pick ups! You have a hell of a guitar for under $1000.00! Comparing its self to its far more expensive dad, Gibson!

About 8lbs, and a beautiful see three green front. With a few rgb briter binding, giving this thing a wicked cool effect!

Love it #epiphone thanks #ams for opening the box and making sure you sent a quality machine!

Roflmao…..

by RoachKiller

Y’all missed out! Yesterday while I was driving into town. Not 1 but 4 tattoo artists who advertise their studios on their cars drove right in front of me!

All oddly with Mexican names! Who the fuck knows! Roflmao!

Like I said, what’s she gunna do if I go all reputation defender on her ass?

The wife and I……

by RoachKiller

We’re thinking about going to Fleet week. Finding us some cute sailors to get drunk. Taking them down to the Shanghai tunnels. And collecting our bounty!

Then we figured we would have some fun and go to the opium dens down there. But then we remembered the Shanghai tunnels are closed. There are no opium dens, and there’s no bounty for Shanghai’n sailors!

So the plan is, we’re gonna go to the bar and get drunk and play pool!

Fuck Fleet week!

Which reminds me is opium still a thing? Or do they just free base cocain and heroin?

Oh yeah……

by RoachKiller

The three old external IDE hard drives that were stolen out of my truck years ago. They were worthless crap just had old backups of old computers.

I hope you were able to use some of that stuff on your projects. I do believe there was also a back up of envision power board 1.1 on there or was it 1.3?

Either way, if you could send me back a copy of the envision power board 1.1 and a copy of the very first porn site template I ever made, nakedviolence.net. I’d like that template back please I give you no permission to use it……

Oh, and I want the batch of pictures of the hot blonde chick standing in the garbage can. I want those pictures back and include her verification of age ID picture and where they came from…… ounique.com

Thanks,

With love the guy you stole from!

Oh, how……

by RoachKiller

Did I learn to ride a motorcycle? My parents had this old Honda CB 750 that sat in the garage for years. Didn’t run had bad tags no insurance.

One day, a buddy of mine came over and he fixed it. He had to rebuild the carburetor I believe. So it ran, but nobody would ride it because it had no insurance and bad tags.

One day I needed to go somewhere and I didn’t have gas for my pick up. But I knew that Honda had a full tank.

I had Ridden dirt bikes over the years when I was a kid, but never really got much practice at. So luckily, I taught myself how to ride that CB 750 like it was nothing!

The only thing that was the most of a challenge wasn’t shifting. It was keeping that fucking thing stable with that giant motherfucking fairing it had on the front end!

That fairing, I swear to God weighed more than the bike!

But after that, I decided to keep riding it cause it was fun. Until I finally ran out of luck and I got pulled over! I got so lucky. I told the cop I was taking it out for a test ride after fixing it cause luckily he pulled me over by the house. So he gave me a warning and sent me away!

No motorcycle endorsement no insurance bad tags and it almost bald tire to take it back home get it fixed!

So that’s how I learned how to ride a motorcycle…

So how……

by RoachKiller

Are all of you in Texas enjoying the moral third Reich you voted in?

So this means that you now have to drive to the surrounding states to self medicate!

That Just upped your weed bill 100 bucks a month! and that’s only if you don’t get popped on your way back home…..

I’m guessing…..

by RoachKiller

The reason you ladies couldn’t tell what I was heating up in the truck stop microwave. Was due to the fact it fell within the range of your usual natural scent?

I will tell you this is some damn good lobster bisque with old bay goldfish! Damn good!

I am down…..

by RoachKiller

Here In the keys! The only reason they sent me here was cus they knew I would get a million mini skeeters in my truck!

The most dangerously annoying skeeters!

Ones that with one fail swoop will drink 1000 times their body weight in your blood! To the point they can barely fly….

Yes I have The Beach Boys song stuck in my head!

Lying gets…..

by RoachKiller

You no where princess! In this case you can either lie, tell the truth or say nothing!

Lying won’t help you win the case! So if your like me.

They tell you to just keep doing what you’re doing. And Give you some simple ground rules to follow.

Yet most of all, tell you never, ever, ever lie! ( unless you order a new guitar and you have to tell your old lady it’s “ just a guitar case!” )

So ask yourself this, did you lie today? I sure the fuck haven’t!

You, you ladies and gents have, haven’t you? it’s built into your daily lives! Part of your dna? You can’t open your mouths without a load of lies and bullshit comes pouring out!

Unlike yall, I actually got the “ proof” to back up what I say and do…..

See ya!