Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

Not my…..

by RoachKiller

Trash! That is however the cb antenna that finally fell off and made that amazing gazillion to one shot into a hole on the step…..

No I’m having a blast at work, why?

Oh and…..

by RoachKiller

Thank you to whoever snagged my brand new charge cord for my lift while I was on a day off!

This new lift hasn’t been able to get a full charge since I was given it! 60 to 90% was the best.

Since you replaced my new charge cord with an old broken charge cord. My lift has now achieved 100% charge!

I figured it was either the cord or a loose connection on the battery! Welp thanks to your greediness! I was proven right about the cord….. bravo! Bravo!

Nothing pisses…..

by RoachKiller

Off a troll more than being caught in another lie! See I’ve found that in the trucking industry. Trucking trolls have a very short shelf life! Remember that!

Yet with this new job I’m being put into many a uncomfortable situation! Oddly, I’m guessing with all of your attempts to show me I’m not that good.

I have time and time again shown you that all those awards hanging on my wall are legit! And that I have earned every one of them……

Unlike you, I can proudly boast…..

I felt so bad…..

by RoachKiller

There is this lovely young lady at work I recently met! She tells me she has an adhd issue! Doesn’t bother me….. uh hello, crissy…..

Yet today was a long ass day! My whole objective was to put the truck away, put my lift away and get home before the dog bursts on the floor!

Mika has this new thing where she will hold her poop and pee until I get home! Even if that’s 15 hours later! Then as I walk through the door she howls and runs for the door to be let out!

So I feel bad this young lady wanted to talk and I had to cut her short! ;( I did hear about her awesome achievement she accomplished this week! YOU GO GIRL!

Matter of fact next time we are both around the yard maybe I can get her to teach me a class B truck! Cus I won’t drive one until someone trains me on the basics!

What a fucking…..

by RoachKiller

Day! Thank goodness I bought those rain jackets! Cus today was the day for them!

Non stop! Had to bypass 1 stop as the road was shut down every which way to the place!

Over all it was a good day! Had fun, minus pulling into the school to unload. Finding out it was a 2 hour delay! So I had a gaggle of school kids to contend with!

But it’s Friday and I’m tired! I earned my keep this week…..

Added bonus, I only had to break down 2 pallets today! Oddly everyone got what they ordered! How do I know! I hand picked and searched out each box! Doh!

There ya go! That’s what I look at every day! My pallet jack and box trolly. That oddly rarely ever moves from the spot I last put it!

It’s weird! Even if I take a right turn. It’s right there! Standing up, screaming come move me, I dare you!

Oh and I’ve stopped removing other peoples trash left behind in the truck I’m driving that day! I’m not your garbage man, nor is the next driver…..

Oh and…..

by RoachKiller

You can tell people who are not true Oregonians! In the 80’s and 90’s we ran around here wearing cotton long John’s under our shorts!

Now days we run around here wearing fancy running pants and shorts! It’s actually quite popular all up and down the west coast! Especially with the people who use to wear “ exposed “ long John’s….

Which by the way makes me think of the time I was in Alda ne back in the 90’s. The old lady who worked the ta said and I quote, “ us here in Nebraska wear our underwear under our clothes!” ROFLMAO!

Referring to me wearing shorts and long John’s! Still makes me giggle to this day…..

Matter of fact I stopped for a long time until I realized these running pants stop the leg cramps I get from sitting countless hours on drivers seats that are too short! You midgets who are also suffering from scoliosis or something with the air you have in the backs of the seats set to, wouldn’t understand! ROFLMAO!

I’m almost…..

by RoachKiller

A month into this local stuff! It’s ok! I’m already tired of the rain! Which is odd considering I’ve lived in the pnw my entire life! 🙂

Other than the fact yesterday I was told “ go grab this last drop and head home after that!” Then I get back to the dc. Put the truck and my gear away. Then am told, “ oh wait, we have one more drop going back to the exact same place you just left!”

So then I had to unpack the track and gear! Other than that extremely frustrating situation. It’s been pretty good!

I definitely would love to know my accuracy count! Other than that it’s the same ole same ole! Only difference is I sleep in my own bed every night! Shower in my own shower every day…..

Pay wise, welp that’s between me and me! 😉

Ya know…..

by RoachKiller

Yall are extremely lucky I’m an honest guy! Who has zero interest in fucking with you or your truck!

In this instance I easily could have had my way with you and your truck! Especially if you were one of the countless mindblowing stupid fucks who fucked with me over the years!

But I’m not and I know that you and yours are probably already receiving a royal ass fucking by karma and her friends…..

Besides, the chick working the register at that store was kinda hot…..

Oh and…..

by RoachKiller

The easiest way as a newbie to piss off the fleet? It’s simple, when your doing your pre trip and writing up all the major dings and dents on the slip seated truck your driving.

That pretty much will send a bunch of grown people into a tizzy….

Yet cya is built into my daily brain! I’ve also known that the only people who should be worried about a new hire are the ones who might have to step up there game….. we all know that really sends slacking old timers into a tizzy…..

Oh and the fact you took the recent inspection book out of the truck. Tells me you know nothing about truck driving….. especially if it was my write up you were trying to hide!

Cus the shit I’m writing up is the basic of the basic….. yall are the best of the best right? Then fucking act like it!

Oh and moms…..

by RoachKiller

What’s that toilet pill you put in the tank that keeps the toilets from turning brown?

I tried some purple ones the x left behind. They didn’t work! So what’s the majic toilet pill that fixes the issue?

That was…..

by RoachKiller

My day! Only a small river of tomato’s ran today! couldn’t find the back door on one place! My smarts truly shined this am! The door alarm uses the exact same key as the door! Hah!

Oh and had this shit scared out of my by a sleeping homeless chick! God damn she scared the fuck out of me!

Overall having a good time! A lot of box trolly today! I mean a lot……

I can’t believe…..

by RoachKiller

I did it! I had 1 stop that was like 7 stops deep that I had to arrive before 11:00! Somehow I did it! Even after getting on the freeway the wrong way and having to do 16 miles extra!

Actually had a blast, road camera only yelled at me once today! ( seams to be my average! 😉

Broke down and box trollied all those pallets! Oddly had a good day even though I am soaked and my rain jacket is inches away from me! 🙂

My main disadvantages in this game are, I don’t know any of the roads. Besides the main arteries and my home base….

I also have a big disadvantage in not knowing the secret handshakes at deliveries! Where to park, where the coolers are etc.

Overall I’m still having a fucking blast! I mean I did get to take a massive shit at a closed restaurant this am. With the bathroom door accidentally still open….. 🙂

I guarantee you didn’t do that this morning…..