Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

Someone make this…..

by RoachKiller

Make sense! I have owner ops fly by me all the time! 75 – 80mph isn’t unusual!

That would make you think these fuckers are running, 17 -18,000 miles a month right? ya know, I gotta go, get the fuck out of the way mentality…..

I mean that makes sense right?

How is it these fuckers flying by me are barely able to do what a average company driver does in miles a month!

So I’m confused as to why the fuck you need to fly by me at 80 mph if you’re only running 10,000 miles a month?

I was so dissapointed when I found out that average today! I actually want some of my road courtesy back now from these cunts!

Oh dude…..

by RoachKiller

Keith Roth of #hairnation fame hasn’t a fucking clue as to who I am!

Other than the fact I am the instigator of the 1000 text @hairnation protest from years gone bye! Protesting the fact the 23 years I’ve been a subscriber they haven’t changed any of the songs they play! It’s the same bullshit music changed up by an hour, every day!

They have actually changed the name of the station more than the playlist!

Oh and I also own keithroth.com, he might know me from that…. But I offered it up to him years ago at a highly discounted price. He didn’t want it, so I’m guessing I’m once again, someone he hasn’t a clue exists….

Yet I do love posting about his repetitive, sorry ass on occasion…..

Sorry…..

by RoachKiller

Light load, high winds! Nothing like looking in your mirror and seeing your trailer riding in the lane next to ya!

You should have seen the guy who was empty behind me! If his butthole wasn’t sucking up that seat he was obviously wearing an anti gay sex device!

Praise sweet baby jesus, hail Satan! Fuck y’all I’m taking a nap!

The power of…..

by RoachKiller

Satan, compels you to put on a Jesus saves shirt ! That way everyone knows you’re either a giant cock or easily fuckable!

Well, wasn’t expecting that!

I’m guessing since you’re stealing drinks from the cooler at the store I’m eating dinner at. You could also use it for that!

Praise sweet baby Jesus!

MSRD?

by RoachKiller

It took me a minute to figure out this vanity plate this old GI Joe was sporting on his pick up!

It stands for, “ Master Sargent Ringold Dingleberry!”

Only logic explanation I could come up with!

Don’t forget……

by RoachKiller

Go to wave buh-bye to the over smilers going the other way!

Don’t worry, you’ll know who I’m talking about when you see them……

Buh-bye…..

Hang tight……

by RoachKiller

I can’t answer the phone right now. I’m busy holding a steering wheel! Please leave your name number and a brief message after the beep and I’ll probably not call you back anyways……

If you want…..

by RoachKiller

I can show you everything the troll lifers have done over the years? Cell hacks, smedia hacks…..

They just keep doing the same bullshit over and over cus I’m guessing they didn’t write the shit, they just use it…..

Another…..

by RoachKiller

Non placarded hazmat load delivered! God damn, it’s almost as if I knew what the fuck I was doing, huh?

Yea, you’re probably right! I’m not that good of a driver…..

Your old lady says I’m an excellent swords man though! That’s an even trade off…..

Don’t judge……

by RoachKiller

This simple little website that I post my nonsense on has just boosted from 3000 unique i.e. unique IP addresses to 4500 so far this month

That’s what zero search engine data included. That means no help from any search engine. That’s word of craziness bro.! Just like with the previous version of this blog, which was raging at 10 million unique IPS a month

I got a hankering that this one’s gonna do the same thing……

Oh and…..

by RoachKiller

Like I was telling hobo Joe going the other way today! I’m sitting on 12,000lbs! The wind has been seriously fucked from here to Wyoming!

I even had to take 30 to avoid the 45 – 55 mph gusts over elk!

So have a nice life and try not to wreck again!

God damn…..

by RoachKiller

I knew I’ve been backed up lately! Literally my ass has been dragging the last couple days!

But Whoda thunk I would pinch 2 Keith Roth, head sized turds in one day! Holy shit!

If I get up off the toilet and this one’s looking at me too! My poop knife is gunna get some serious use today!

You know, the poop knife I keep on my belt loop! Right next to my janitors key chain and pick holder!

You have no idea……

by RoachKiller

How much better I feel even though that was the most bizarre experience I’ve ever had!

Stopped to take a monster shit. I’ve been waiting all fucking day. Had to deal with a guy in the booth next to me with a screaming kid that doesn’t wanna poop, but Dad saying he has to!

So finally, they leave and I pinched the last loaf. I wiped my ass, Twas a good one. I had to wipe a lot. Stand up to pull up my britches. I looked down in the toilet and I swear to God it looked just like Keith Roth!

It was like having that hot stuff, staring back at me!

So to make sure he understood how I felt I went ahead and pissed in his face.

Update……

That poop looks just like Keith Roth, I was required to cut it into pieces via the poop knife I keep on my belt loop.! Required four good stabbings before it broke up enough that I could finally send it back to hell where it belonged!

I don’t know……

by RoachKiller

What you cunts are up to today! me I’m just dragging my hazmat loads up and down the highways and bi-ways of this great country!

Minding my own business, doing my own things while seeing your faces drive by and trying to avoid listening to your mind numbing lip flapping!

How do you……

by RoachKiller

People do it, how the fuck do you flapyour fucking lips for hours on end and not say one fucking thing of any value?

How do you fucking do that? Just listening to you flap Your fucking lips is a fucking mind numbing as listening to a drug addict talk about how they hit bottom…..

How cool is that…..

by RoachKiller

The way pookie the fart bubble chaser is talking. It sounds like he/she is finally winning that war inside its head!

Haven’t a clue as to who it is actually talking about. Yet, god damn it pookie! We’re all so proud of you!

All hail pookie the fart bubble chaser! Praise sweet baby Jesus in that poor bastards name…..

Me, I’ll be busy defrosting my ice box!