Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

When all is…

by RoachKiller

Said and done. I see my fat ass sitting on the porch of his container house overlooking a fucking ocean somewhere……

Guitar in one hand, big ass mother fucking drink in the other and a piece of pussy ride my dick……

What piece of pussy? We will find out when that time comes!

Later, see ya

You should see…..

by RoachKiller

My spam folder! It’s the who’s who of cracka’s who all want to rip me off! I guess I should feel honored that I’m that important to that many people, huh?

Yet I digress, if I have over 100 spam emails all saying the same exact thing! All while the text characters are incorrect! Am I really that important or has one of my emails just hit a cracka list?

Thoughts to ponder on this fly infested morning!

Oh and thanks to this tv show I watched last night! If the apocalypse ever happens my business opportunity has been chosen!

I will hire people to shit in large tents, introduce flies to the shit and tents. When enough flies have been created. We will capture them, grind them and sell them as protein!

Praise sweet baby Jesus, I’m thinking ahead…… the sign of pure genius!

Oh shut…

by RoachKiller

The fuck up you low rent Cunt! Before I or somebody else gives you an actual fucking reason to cry….. bitch!

God, damn……

by RoachKiller

There is nothing is freeing as finally getting that monkey off your back and saying what you really think! Being delicate enough for those who are mentally unstable to grasp what you’re saying!

All I know is I feel like 1000 fucking pound weight just got lifted off my back!

Praise Sweet baby Jesus, hail Satan…..

Yeah, I would……

by RoachKiller

Do this turn once a week, to and fro so to speak! With a chill at the house on the weekends!

I would not take a pay cut to do itand I would expect this truck to be set up better for the pulls!

Winter is usually mild and the people are rather friendly around here. So I can see myself doing this for a while, until I get bored and tell you to go fuck yourself again.….

Are you …..

by RoachKiller

Pretty little princess’s ready to roll! Or has the woke psychology hacks got their Vulcan mind meld all up in ya?

I’m not sure which is worse a a wife beater, or a woke psychologist who doesn’t actually have a license to be a psychologist. I guess that’s the same. The wife beater doesn’t have a license to be a wife beater either…..

Toot a Lou, I’ll be watching from afar, and when you nose dive into the ground, I’ll be there to catch whoever was stupid enough to think you were smart…..

Dude go get…..

by RoachKiller

Your finger prints done down at jubitz! They no longer use black ink. It’s actually a laser machine now you put your fingers on!

But the ladies there have a wave machine blaring, geezers In The hallway flapping their lips! All while this little 5’ 2” lovely Asian lady speaks to you so softly you have to bend down to where she stands to hear what she has to say!

I also think I heard her say that at the airport cus of my hazmat status. I can check the tsa precheck box when I buy plane tickets?

I was like, I’m a truck driver! I travel every day! The chances of my getting on anything besides my couch is almost zero! 🙂

Actually, I got…

by RoachKiller

Dickhuge.com I didn’t like the plural on the dick. I couldn’t get the name to roll off my tongue.

But dick huge sounds like somebody’s actual fucking name! So enjoy dickshuge.com! See the plural doesn’t sound right…..

Yawn……

by RoachKiller

Had to pull a four hour last night! I had one project that I had to get done before I left last night and I figured it was gonna take me two hours but instead it took four fucking hours

So today, I actually had to take a nap! I had some stuff I had to make sure had to be done! Lucky for me all is complete …..

Let’s see how long it takes the super hackers to figure out what I did this time……

I’ll also bet that the only way they figure out what I did is by somebody else telling them! Cus I found my super hackers, really aint super at shit!

If it wasn’t for the fact that somebody else gave them the information they needed. They wouldn’t be hackers at all……

Oh doggies…..

by RoachKiller

Have I got one hell of a V blog tonight! Not only was dealing with my mentally ill daughter. But my wife, who is now showing signs of mental illness issues. All decided to pounce on me all at once!

Nothing new, I’m actually quite used to it. the question is do I need to continue dealing with it???

Here is what I dealt with just from my daughter this time home…..

FYI, she does not at all respond to anything when you’re nice because you notice my beginning text was me asking her nicely. Everything else after that, you can read….,

Personally, I’m just impressed. There was no shit in that toilet! You don’t know how many times I got in there and it was filled with unflushed shit!

A little thing I learned a while ago……

by RoachKiller

Rejection breeds rejection!

If you reject me, my self-defense is there to reject you! The only difference is, I can reject you in a far worse manner than you can reject me!

So what I’m going to do is I have to come home next month for jury duty. Will let it go until then. Depending what happens between now and then is what will happen when I come home for jury duty!

No, they are responsibilities to be taken care of. If I see that those responsibilities are not taken care of! The outcome of this that you will see will not be to your liking…. Comprende, life goes on whether you’re there or not……

You dumb shits…..

by RoachKiller

Realize that when you pick a lock! Or attempt to pick a lock. The pins never rebound. So as I insert my key into the lock! It becomes extremely difficult to do so!

Thus showing just cause as to why you have earned the right to have your throat slit and lifeless carcass thrown in a ditch on the side of the road!

Can you believe….

by RoachKiller

It’s official! Today is not only 23 years driving for the same company! It’s 23 years of not running any of you over!

No wonder I’m so fucking tired today…..

It’s hard work not running stupid people over…..

When you do….

by RoachKiller

Your ritual 5 year finger print shit for the privilege of hauling hazmat! All while taking 1.5 hours to do 15 miles!

You really need some good traveling tunes!