They need to…..

Make this in my grandpa your grandpa! I ordered it anyway! Cus there dad won’t get it either…..

And even though my new grandkids are half Asian, half Viking and half that pesky British red coat ( my wife! ). I still had to order 2 for the twins! Makes me think of there mom! ( my daughter! ) 🙂

My son in law can be as offended as he wants! These boys are gunna look fucking cute in these…..

This is why…..

You never listen to truck driving lip flappers! As misery loves company and those fuckers are always recruiting new members!

If I’m stuck at 65mph with no cruise control! Stopped 5 times through out the day. I’m pretty sure you too can driver atleast 650 miles a day! ( of course all depending on what your day gives you! )

Goddamn……

Troll life is rolling you fuckers harder than a steam roller, rolling over a bad batch of Gibson S series guitars!

God damn, I’ll pray to your god for you,,,..

So how does it make you feel……

That SAIA and I almost died going into a construction zone because the Cunt in the newer Orange KW wasn’t paying attention. He had to hit the shoulder because he ran out of room to stop.

Which in turn started a chain reaction behind him…… does it make you all feel good to know?

Cause we all know your greed and jealousy put you on some seriously fucked up situations with sad moral complications…..

I hope the…..

Mental health issues yall are going through get resolved soon! Either with intense psychotherapy or pharmaceutical help!

Me, im gunna take my baby face and move on down the road…..

Starting to see why I wanna get like lasers or what not to get fucking rid of my facial hair? I shaved yesterday……

Ready to roll…

Bruh? i’ve been to that place many many many times before. I know if you go on a Sunday they’re almost really really bored. So if you walk in with a good attitude, they almost always load you early if the product is ready.

So because I am a super Duper awesome dude. They loaded me early. So let’s get on down the road before We get too tired and have to pull off and stop for the night.

So there you go. The life of a truck driver……

My bad, the life of a really good fucking truck, driver……

Anyone else….

Realize they have to shit in an outhouse in this 80 degree heat. Open the door and exclaim, “ yay I’m the first to poop in it!”

So other than the fact you’re trying not to poop with friends. It’s not that bad of an experience! No bad smells, no flies, no splash back….. just sweat and tears pooring down…..

I gotta know…..

When you lost custody of your kids, brought up on kiddy touching charges.

Did truck stops of America out in troutdale fire you then or before you went to prison?

I’m also guessing when you moved to Vegas and started working at that ta. When I showed up, you got scared and ran for the hills?

A lot like the mentally ill chick you impregnated at 15 when you were 21. Have you finally disappeared off the face of the earth too?

Cus my kids lawyer would love to hear yall have been anywhere near us or her….

I’ll take my answer off air…..

All hail……

The trashdom that is Wally world! Not only are the stores entertaining in themselves. But now the DCS have become just as enter fucking taining!

I back into a hole to drop my trailer. I noticed two people talking didn’t think anything of it. Drop the trailer, walk back to the company terminal there get me some paperwork. Took a monster stinky shit in the toilet.

Walk back to my truck and now there’s two dudes standing by the docks. While another guy in an SUV is circling around them.

I don’t know what was going on. I didn’t give a shit. I just hopped in the truck and went looking for an empty. I grab an empty come to find out. It’s a piece of shit empty! I can’t take that empty so. I dropped that one back where I found it and I grab another empty, and as I’m doing that. I’ll look over and there are two sheriffs right by where those dudes were talking?

I don’t know what the fuck is up! all I know is every time I go to this specific DC. There is always a cop on grounds!

So I found a new empty, and as i was hooking to it the guy in the SUV came by. I asked him, “so what the hell was that all about? “I said every time I come here there is a sheriff back here somewhere?”

Oh it was about nothing nothing at all!

so I fucking grabbed my empty headed to the gate and I asked the security guard like what the fuck was that all about? He goes there were two drivers back there fist fighting!

I saw these two guys and that would’ve been like watching midgets fight. I mean it was fucking sad! Either way there’s never a dull moment when you go to a Wally world DC.

Bruh…..

I just went and dropped the nastiest shit in your Wally World terminals, drivers lounge!

Bruh, it was a nasty “ I’ve been eating fish for 2 days “ shit!

So fucking gnarly I even had to hold my breath! Gnarly turd biscuit!

If you hurry, I’m sure the smell is lingering in stall 1! Just thought I would mention it cus we all know how much you love scat and feet…..

Oh and I finally scored a 2025 insurance permit! tried 3 different terminals…..

I’m not upset……

Maybe a little perturbed, I had to work that hard to get my point across. But I’m not upset about anything. I realize now that it’s the Fourth of July weekend and they’re trying to get all turds home!

I was just going home for regular time off. And if it was really fucking important when the grandkids were born, I would’ve said something the day they were born.

I’ll have plenty of time to piss them off when I finally do get home. But I think it’s silly that you would send me a shit load to put me in a place that might get me home. Might not.

Rather than say hey, we got shit man you wanna take this all back east and then we’ll work your way back. Adjustable except for when it comes to you doing that shit all the fucking time. And believe me over the past you’ve done that shit all the fucking time

I got my copy of iced earth, the glorious burden! I can celebrate the Fourth of July…..

Besides my 23 year accident free anniversary is 12 days away. My free agent status will be hopping on that day! Why deal with these fucking little rats if I can make pretty damn near close to the same amount of money and be home every fucking night?

You should see this…

Trying to get home so I can meet my grandchildren. And I’m just going home from my regular schedule time off. I don’t give a fuck that’s the Fourth of July or not. I don’t give a shit. I just wanna go home and eat my grandbabies. And so far dispatch has come up with every bullshit excuse they could throw at me!

So they threw this load at me twice 415 miles that delivers 7 o’clock tomorrow night. They can’t give me any definitive load home. They can’t even tell me they have a load going home. But they really really really really really want me to take this 400 mile load that delivers at 7 o’clock tomorrow night.

So they want me to waste a lot of fucking time not even resetting or doing anything beneficial being out here. Just so I can go and sit for a load that delivers 400 miles away 30 hours away from now!

But then they sent me a load going back east and I’m like well. Why don’t I just take the load back east and then try to get a load home next week because obviously you’re too busy taking me around here and trying to fill the bullshit loads that the shit bags dropped

To actually either get me set up to go home or not so why don’t I take the load back east and try again next week that way I’m not sitting around jerking off waiting for God knows what dumb shit to take all this load whenever the fuck he gets here.

So let’s see what they come back with because it’s been half an hour and they still haven’t replied back……

Thank goodness….

I now understand why you geezers wear shirts with pockets and pocket protectors!

It wasnt until I saw this old man today. His pocket had 1 pen in it and from what I could see. He used that pocket protector to drool into other than on his shirt…..

Excellent use of workwear geezer…..

Oh hun……

Take it from a professional truck driver the holding your nose closed while trying to blow out will only pop your ears in the lower elevations after being in the higher elevation!

The only true way to get your ears to pop when you go from the lower elevation to the higher elevation. Is one let it do it naturally or two move your lower jaw like you’re a meth head while pretending to blow air out at the same time.

You should hear a series a little popping noises in your ears if you’re doing it correctly, but the only thing that really helps your ears is letting you do it naturally otherwise you’re just gonna be uncomfortable while thinking about it…..

Oh, and learn how to hawk up loogies! That helps clear your sinuses…..