Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

Man, I just realized…..

by RoachKiller

I forgot to put away that animal trap before I left! Welp, if the can of sardines does its job! I’ll have an authentic cat skeleton to put out front for Halloween……

You ever……

by RoachKiller

See a group of people and get excited cause you know you’re gonna be seeing them again in court…..

it’s cause you know they’re gonna be sitting at the defendants table, possibly forfeiting everything they own?

So if you ever see me walk by a group of people and start smiling, now you know what I’m thinking…..

So good…..

by RoachKiller

Even cold!

Oh and someone tell the x old lady that her milk problem might actually be from her Splenda addiction!

I stated drinking that coffee with Splenda and I haven’t had a solid shit in 3 days! If this was the Oregon trail game, ide of died of dysentery by now…..

Oh and I’m quit happy with myself! Mowed the yard in one shot and didn’t get winded whatsoever! My and Mika’s hard work is paying off!

Ya know I…..

by RoachKiller

Love my dog! Yet I’m finding out she is a natural blonde! You can give her a treat in her bowl! She will watch you drop it in there and she stares at you like, where’s my treat!

I get she’s old! She’s night blind, has a bad sniffer and either doesn’t give a shit your calling her or she’s hard of hearing!

Yet after watching her roll herself off the bed! For zero reason! After all the years of her falling asleep between your legs on the bed, knowing you’re going to squish her when you roll over!

I have come to the conclusion she is a natural blonde! I will love her anyways! 🙂

Oh and p.s. she is that overly loud eater! The one people have nightmares about!

Twas at 9.2 volts…..

by RoachKiller

Not even my monster jump box or hers could start this bitch! Since the last time I had it in the shop and said, “ I need batteries!”

Every fucking time I come for time off I have had to use my personal jump box to start this bitch! With good batteries, I should easily be able to go home for time off, leave the fridge and a light on. Come back in 4-5 days and still be able to start the truck!

Yea, they don’t do that here…..

All 4 batteries replaced! Woo hoo, let’s roll poser!

How cool…..

by RoachKiller

One of my Asian neighbors down the road was on a walk at the same time we were! She saw these trees and immediately snapped pictures to send to her brother in Hong Kong!

She just told us so we wouldn’t freak cus we managed to photo bomb her! 🙂

I was like cool, then omg in old man fashion said, “ that’s fine, have a nice evening!” ROFLMAO!

Then I came home and finally finished that half gallon of brewers mint chocolate chip ice cream I’ve been working on the last 3 months!

Yes I like my ice cream in a cup with milk!

You know ladies…..

by RoachKiller

If you are thinking I want to fuck? You’re probably right! Yet it’s been so long I’m going to need you standing at my front door! Butt ass naked saying, fuck me!

In order to get my attention that way! I don’t do small talk…..

Follow those rules and we will fuck until your head explodes in an orgasmic frenzy! Just ask my soon to be x what that’s like!

Yall are missing…..

by RoachKiller

Out on the show today! Just had one of those whores of salt lake walk by tonight as I was taking out the trash!

Obvious sign, the frosted bob and the flats! Who the fuck goes on a walk in cheap pair of flats?

Any hoot, back to the curse of king tut!

Much better….

by RoachKiller

Found these on Amazon! Definitely insulated black out curtains! Luckily I haven’t put up the new curtain rod yet as it needs to come down 1/4” to remove the small gap at the bottom!

Dig um man! Definitely more efficient than the set I put up from home goods!

Matches the carpet so, groovy dude! I’ll definitely be buying more! Oddly $7 less than the previous set! I

’ll use the old ones in the dinning room at a later date!

I don’t know…..

by RoachKiller

Ladies, I can’t tell if that tele accentuates my center piece or throws it off!

Also what scent do you ladies prefer?

Ocean lotus?

Black cherry?

vanilla creme’?

I’m also thinking I don’t need a wall piece on there! As that center piece runs halfway up that space!

Although if I could find a giant 60” x 70” metal pentagram! I’m pretty sure that would look splendid! Like all the other metal wall art pieces I have….

😉

It just hit me…..

by RoachKiller

The water company came out today to find out why my water usage has been so low the last 6 months!

All I said was, “ our youngest daughter found her own place!”

He giggled and said “your meter is fine! We knew they were drilling fiber through this neighborhood so on unusual cases like yours we wanted to verify there wasn’t an issue!”

The only issue we had was a young girl who loved taking 2 hour long showers twice a day! 🙂 seriously!

That’s why I love happy valley! They get it…..

New insulated curtains arrived!

Yea I’ve been….

by RoachKiller

Busy…. I don’t think the x old lady knew those little flower pots had holes in the bottom! Where they were sitting. The window sill is fucking destroyed!

I want to practice…..

by RoachKiller

Before I start working on the house today! Yet I got this oversized cute ass rat asleep on the couch…..

You fuckers are dying to find out who the “ wealthy chick” is I was talking about in a previous post? Ain’t you?

I was gunna tell you but I need some boba! so nope!

But I will tell you I got some more picture frames, some great copies of some pics of the kids! While stopping at the hardware store to get some wall hooks, kitchen cleaner and an outside faucet cover!

To answer your question, no the fun of doing that fake Sarah Silverbush shit we did on twitter. Has literally come and gone!

Now I just watch the which witches on tik tok make fools of them witchy selves…..

I’ll post pics of the 70’s bone smoker, room decorations later tonight!