Category: Road Life

What Life on the road as a truck driver is really like!

See that airplane wing….

by RoachKiller

On the top of my tv? That’s just a regular digital tv antenna! Yes, tv is still free!

Anyhoot that’s one of the better on tv mounted antennas I’ve found! Oddly I’m actually able to get the big 5 local pdx channels and 39 more channels! So live tv is free even though we cut the cable!

Even with all my movie and tv apps. It’s still kinda a pain in the ass to find something to watch! Samsung has around 1000 channels. 44 local channels and the thousands of shows and movies available via the apps!

Definetly better than paying the price of cable!

I don’t get to…..

by RoachKiller

Watch a lot of local tv when I’m on the road. So to my surprise while watching stargate sg-1 today. A commercial came on that all I could think of was….

Did your car airbags save your life? We can sue….

You princess’s….

by RoachKiller

Ready to go or do we have to wait for you to call your mommy and daddy to get there permission first?

Cus we all know, they will spank and ground you if you’re not back for dinner on time…..

Perfect example…..

by RoachKiller

Of the moronic ignorance of my road trolls!

The load I was on you have 2 routes you can take! The short route is over 2 passes and winding mountain roads!

The route that’s 16 miles longer has zero mountain passes but city traffic. So I decided on the city route cus I’ll be hitting it after rush hour!

So I’m cruising along at 0200 minding my own business. Trying to figure out if the tracking on this trailer I’m pulling has gotten worse? Or ifs exactly the same and I’m just tired?

The next thing I know, there is a cop back behind me. Lights on and he is screaming down the freeway! He blows by and here comes 2 more! In total I’m seeing about 10 state troopers all going different directions on the freeway!

Then out of no where. This blacked out Chevy Camaro, ( it was black and had no lights on! ) comes from no where. Cuts in front of me, after almost plowing the car in the lane next to me!

I flip on my jigaboo and yell. “ there he is, we got us a blacked out Camaro moving at a high rate of speed past the 108! Watch out Costco you won’t see him!

Then of course the cops go flying by etc!

You know what my road trolls says on the cb? Yup you guessed it! “ you really need to shut up!”

I kid ye not!

That’s the perfect example of the stupid I deal with!

Anyhoot, trailer dropped! You ready to roll princess?

Texas hill country…..

by RoachKiller

Just a couple weeks ago! Weird place! It’s like a giant tourist spot…..

Remind me a lot of like Branson, Missouri or that place over there in Tennessee I can’t think of the name with the aquarium and all the sites and shit

This place was like going to small little beach town with a shit load of shops and wineries and crafts and so there you go that’s what it’s like

Yep, still me…..

by RoachKiller

I’m just trying to ease you into my amount of sexiness! I know how overwhelmed people like you can get with gorgeous people…..

You know……

by RoachKiller

Yall keep telling me nobody gives a shit what I have to say on this blog. Except everyone of you Cunts knows exactly what I just said.! Figure that one out…..

Oh, to all you company drivers who we’re having problems with Internet access on your cell phones and your cellular modems, computers. If you’d like, I can tell you the exact batch of people that hacked your shit!

No, it wasn’t me, I could give two shits if you’re surfing doggy porn…..

Don’t be jellyz princess! Today’s daily deal is also crisp meat for $3.59…..

Hold on……

by RoachKiller

Let me take off my jacket so you think I’m a newbie!

I wish someday I could become a big enough cunt to drive4Schaffer. Until then, I’ll just learn how to become one by watching people like you……

I’m sure you have value to someone! That someone just ain’t me…..

Awwww…..

by RoachKiller

it’s nice to see you princesses finally got smart. Stopped using sporks to dig your own graves with, and have upgraded to excavators.!

Although it concerns me that you’re not properly trained to dig holes using an excavator. It makes me feel good to know that when the time is right that hole we’re gonna toss you in will be ready and waiting…….

And I hope the drug deal, Jesus Christ superstar, and hobo Joe We’re doing in the parking lot of the supermarket yesterday. Went well? You too Christians look like you’re about ready to suck each other off so I parked and get the fuck out of there………

Oh, just to let you know, I’m not being mean believe me what I really wanna say I legally can’t say! So you’re getting the mild version of what I really think…..

I will tell you, though, that hair tonic y’all are using is working really well. I mean if it wasn’t for the fact, that you have that eternal duh look., the lazy eye, and the fact, I know what you look like shaved head and with hair. I would think you’re Mormon, or in a cult with a leader named Jeff and a tubby chick…..

Last year…..

by RoachKiller

I ordered a Stanley mug from scooters! The special candyland edition! The wife ran with it and almost everything santa brought, Was candyland themed!

Allthough I feel like a bronie while wearing this piece of candyland pegasister! I now have grandkids, so I must sport this shirt! 😉

After listening……

by RoachKiller

To a dad talk to his kids. I’m starting to understand why the work ethic in the younger generation is nonexistent!

As a parent, if you didn’t make those little bastards, come out and work their ass off in the yard with you. it’s no wonder that little fucking brat now expects everything to be handed to them

Seriously, if you didn’t put them out there in the yard on a hot day, sweaty, stinking like Bo and swamp ass then how will they ever know that feeling of hard work and accomplishment? when they walk into the house to have dinner?

I mean, the feeling of accomplishment alone is worth its weight in parenting gold!

You boys….

by RoachKiller

Need me to pick you some of these up? They give them out for free here!

Figure you might need them to help sop up those gushing man cunts of yours…..

I also hear they are good to shove in your pie hole! Helping to keep y’all’s mouths shut and minding your own fucking business for once…

Hey Keith…..

by RoachKiller

I hope you were wearing a condom? Cus you know they haven’t found an actual cure for the hiv yet…..

And that dude looked far too spicy to not be loaded with something! ( I’m not gay so that’s me trying to say he looked well used! )

How cool is that?

by RoachKiller

Another one of those forbidden loads the company clique’ tells me I’m not allowed to pick up or deliver!

Welp princess’s it’s time to roll! After stopping at the yard all I can say is, yall try not to wreck this week…..

Hang tight, I gotta poop first!

Example of what not to do…..

 are you sure……

by RoachKiller

You boys driving around in your vehicles today trolling actual hard working truck drivers are really men?

Are you sure you’re men? Cause that’s the kind of mentally handicap shit jealous women and small children do! Not men!

My guess you and your friends castrated yourselves?

Cus that smells a lot like pussy to me…..

I wonder if Amazon sells testicle replacements? If so, maybe I should start buying y’all a pair…..